random thoughts

I just realized how long it has been since I posted anything on here. Truth be known, I have sat down many nights to write on here but just kind of tell myself "I can't really go there tonight". So I just turn it off. The past month has been extremely difficult in many aspects but I have healed tremendously in others. It is amazing how God does that....gives it to you slowly and allows you to take things in stride. I know alot of people wonder about the nursery and what we ended up doing with it, and if someone asked me on a day I am having an "angry at the world day", I would probably tell them its none of their business. :) BUT since no one has asked (I can not imagine why because I have been such a joy to be around these days!) :) I will tell you! We have not done a darn thing to the nursery. It is still up and everything in place. I did sit in there one night and cry and unpack her hospital bag and then decided to re-pack it and out it back where it was. But now it is strange because it's not what it use to be to me anymore. It's just a room with a bunch of things in it and though of course it means alot to me it just kind of is there and thats it....maybe tomorrow I will wake up and think differently but for now its just there and thats really all there is to say about it.

Work is getting so much easier. There are actually days that go by without anyone asking how the baby is doing. Though there are still the occasional who ask and I kind of want to ask "where int he world have you been??" But God has given me tremendous strength and i have yet to blow up on any stranger!

On lighter notes, everything else is good. Joey had his conference with Isabel's teacher today and all is great! She said Isabel is doing great in Kindergarten! Isabel LOVES her teacher and trys to act like her, its so stinkin cute. Joey and her are fishing right now at his Dad's house. This has become complete routine for the two of them. Every Thursday and Friday he picks her up from school on his days off and takes her to his Dad's house to fish at the lake. I do not think either one of them realize what a great Dad he is. He is truely amazing to do this with her EVERY WEEK. He does not drop her off at daycare so he can enjoy his days off alone, he spends EVERY ONE of them with her! What better Dad could you ask for? I often think how lucky Grayson was and never knew it!

I went to the Doctor a few weeks ago to see about this stupid cyst on my wrist. I noticed it when I was pregnant and it got really big and was so annoying! So I wanted to go ahead and get it looked at. Well, it is sitting right on top of my main joint on my wrist and is now causing me to lose feeling in my fingers and middle arm. SO he is going to take it out in a few weeks. So I am really looking forward to it! It is driving me INSANE!

Thank you all for your constant prayers and I ask that you will continue to pray that God will continue granting me strength and awareness of the GOOD he has brought out of this. Some days it is hard to see when everything around me seems so dark! I have to remember to draw my strength from HIM and nothing else.